A Day of Birth
Everyone has a day of birth. Most birthdays are surrounded by joy, parties, and reminiscing about previous celebrations. Some are for the young and some are for the old. For the young, it is presents - maybe the latest toy. For the old, it is a day of reflection - a day of memories and thankfulness for a long life. Young or old most agree that a birthday is a day of happiness.
For me, a birthday is a day of reflection but not as most people would see it. You see, a few years ago, my mother became very ill on my birthday. I called to see if I should come over, but my brother said she finally laid down to rest. I decided to wait until the next day to visit her.
The next day we went to the annual Halloween parade (or "candy" parade as I like to call it!) and I thought I would try to visit her after the parade. My brother called during the parade and let me know that they had to take my mom to the hospital. When I arrived, they wanted to take her for an MRI. I wanted to talk to her, but conversations were quite hard since her last stroke. Talking was hard for her and when she finally did say something, it usually came out not making sense. While I waited with my dad and mom for the MRI to start, my mom said "stop sitting on me." I'm not sure what it meant, but was the last complete sentence I heard her speak.
As the day went on, she became steadily worse - and then lapsed into a type of epileptic consciousness. She looked at me and said "I don't want to..." She never finished this sentence before drifting off into another seizure. My Dad and brother tried to figure out what she wanted by saying, "what don't you want?" I knew exactly what she was trying to say - I could tell by the look in her eyes when she said it. She meant to say "I don't want to die."
I saw the fear in her eyes and knew that there was nothing I could do or say to help her. I found it odd that no one else realized that this is what she meant to say. Maybe it was a denial thing.
Anyway, mom stayed in this state - getting steadily worse - until she passed on a week later on a Sunday. We held a impromptu church service for her - my aunt and cousins sang hymns and we held hands (mom included) and said a prayer. She quietly slipped away to be with Jesus a little after 6 PM.
It's ironic that the very hospital and floor (4th) that my mother gave birth to me would be the very same place she would die. I've often tried to analyze this. Surely there must some kind of hidden meaning. I've looked but I haven't found one. I just know that I miss her and wish I could have been a better daughter to her when she was alive. Maybe that's all that God wants me to realize - Life is short.
People say it all the time without giving it much thought - but life is short. Don't take another minute in your life for granted. Don't allow yourself to be caught up in the pettiness of this world. Don't assume that there will always be a tomorrow. And most of all, when that day (end) does come, make sure you are ready for the end that you alone have chosen.
For me, a birthday is a day of reflection but not as most people would see it. You see, a few years ago, my mother became very ill on my birthday. I called to see if I should come over, but my brother said she finally laid down to rest. I decided to wait until the next day to visit her.
The next day we went to the annual Halloween parade (or "candy" parade as I like to call it!) and I thought I would try to visit her after the parade. My brother called during the parade and let me know that they had to take my mom to the hospital. When I arrived, they wanted to take her for an MRI. I wanted to talk to her, but conversations were quite hard since her last stroke. Talking was hard for her and when she finally did say something, it usually came out not making sense. While I waited with my dad and mom for the MRI to start, my mom said "stop sitting on me." I'm not sure what it meant, but was the last complete sentence I heard her speak.
As the day went on, she became steadily worse - and then lapsed into a type of epileptic consciousness. She looked at me and said "I don't want to..." She never finished this sentence before drifting off into another seizure. My Dad and brother tried to figure out what she wanted by saying, "what don't you want?" I knew exactly what she was trying to say - I could tell by the look in her eyes when she said it. She meant to say "I don't want to die."
I saw the fear in her eyes and knew that there was nothing I could do or say to help her. I found it odd that no one else realized that this is what she meant to say. Maybe it was a denial thing.
Anyway, mom stayed in this state - getting steadily worse - until she passed on a week later on a Sunday. We held a impromptu church service for her - my aunt and cousins sang hymns and we held hands (mom included) and said a prayer. She quietly slipped away to be with Jesus a little after 6 PM.
It's ironic that the very hospital and floor (4th) that my mother gave birth to me would be the very same place she would die. I've often tried to analyze this. Surely there must some kind of hidden meaning. I've looked but I haven't found one. I just know that I miss her and wish I could have been a better daughter to her when she was alive. Maybe that's all that God wants me to realize - Life is short.
People say it all the time without giving it much thought - but life is short. Don't take another minute in your life for granted. Don't allow yourself to be caught up in the pettiness of this world. Don't assume that there will always be a tomorrow. And most of all, when that day (end) does come, make sure you are ready for the end that you alone have chosen.
posted by SavedByGrace at
11:32 AM
1 Comments:
Thank you. I will remember your
words. Sometimes I think God wants us to give ourselves our own gift of forgiveness.
By
Karen, at 3:04 PM
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